What We Say...and How We Say it...Effective Communications

Today I made a decision that will have an impact on my life and I made it for the right reasons!!  What a freeing experience to go within, understand my strengths and what makes my spirit sing and then take action on what I know to be true.  I have turned down an opportunity BUT I know it is the right decision and as I close this door, others will open.  As I continue on the path of talking about Ingredients for Relationship Recipes, I know that the first relationship begins with SELF - if I don't understand myself, who I am and what matters to me, how can I possibly have relationships with all of these beautiful people in this collage? Can't do it effectively!  I won't begin to share who everyone is - maybe you know some of them - maybe some of them are in your life or your own family but they are all my friends and I value them.  Everyday I learn to value and affirm them in different ways.  Every day I have connections with some of them and while they may be challenging, we learn and grow from one another.
      Last week, I received my Shambala Sun magazine and inside the wrapper was a special treat - a free, yes FREE magazine called Mindful.  (write to them for your free copy - I did - copies@mindful.org or call Robin at 1-877-422-8404 x.16.  I mention this because one of the articles gave me pause and has guided my thinking toward my decision making and how I choose to communicate respectfully with those in my life.

     It's called STOP, WAIT, go.  I'll just share some opening points: "The hardest part of communicating well is knowing when to speak, when to be quiet, and when to wait and see."  The author, Susan Chapman, talks about practicing mindful communication and relates it to traffic signals:
    Red light:  notice when you've become defensive and close off.  Be careful.  Communicating in this zone can lead to difficult and painful reactions.
    Yellow light:  Pay atention to the limbo between open and closed (with babies we call this watch, ask and adapt)  Relax with the uncertainty.  Pause, reflect and linger there and let possibilities emerge.
   Green light:  when your state of mind is open, feel free to explore your connection with others.

It's never simple folks.  You know that.  Sometimes someone pisses you off and you want to be hurtful in return - to get in the last word and be right.  I am learning to say WHY and what will it really get me?  It will wound our relationship and possibly make another person feel less than ok.  Is that what relationships are all about?  I don't think so!!

   This is all about what matters to me and how I am choosing to live my life as a Free Spirit - it is an evolving process and gets a bit better every day as I find myself more in balance.  Join me and learn to Stop, Wait and then Go as the time is right.  You just might feel so much better!!