Here's a welcoming rocking chair...pull it up and set a spell and let's chat. I am wearing my DARE to AFFIRM shirt - all about the Dance of Relationships. That they are - a dance. Finding our inner rhythm and then going out into the world with is - a constant challenge. At times, the two people will hear the same music and get in step. At other times, there can be a lot of stepping on toes!!
Last night I stepped while out in a group setting, I sat back and watched some of the personal interchanges - and in my head, took some of them personally. When I saw a 'friend' talking to one person - and yet another - about setting up 'playdates' , I thought "What about ME?" She and I used to do that...and then something changed. WHAT?!?! WHY?!?!? I often go into the "what did I do" mode and it is NOT reality based. On the way home, I chatted with two other friends about this and they clearly said, "Don't take it personally!" This immediately brought to mind Don Miguel Ruiz and The Four Agreements:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Words
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
3. Don't Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best
Funny - when I first read the book and shared the information with people, I often couldn't remember what #2 was!! Imagine that?!? Here is what Don Miguel says....
"Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their owndream. When you are immune to the opions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering".
So when someone says that she can't be my friend because she can't deal with my energy - is that my problem...or hers?
When someone else says that she has 'evolved' and I have not so she can't be my friend - and she shares that info in a 'nastygram', is that my problem...or hers?
Lesson learned: It is only my problem IF I allow it to be - and IF I take it personally.
It's all about self acceptance - wanting to belong - and needing to be loved and appreciated. Find the love and acceptance within - and recognize all of the places where it comes from without!!