To See Ourselves As Others See Us!

BOTHER!! I WROTE THIS POST YESTERDAY AND THEN COULD NOT GO IN AND EDIT IT AT ALL...SO HERE IT IS AGAIN
 Yesterday I got distracted...by the garden...I was on my way to the pool for warm water exercises and just stopped for a second to look at the cutest little white flower in the front garden.  It was all soft and furry and fuzzy and I wanted to capture it for the Garden album.  I tried and nothing I could do could get a clear picture of her.  All I heard was "I WANT TO BE INCLUDED IN THE PICTURE TOO!!"  It her neighbor the bright orange marigold and she was talking to me loud and clear.  WHAT???  OK...here you are...a together portrait.  It's a lovely combination - bright - vivid - warmth - exuberance and soft, gentle, peaceful.  As the day went on, I ketp thinking about those two flowers and their differences and realized that they had chosen to be together in the garden and share in my visions.  OK.  As usual, I reflect on that for more meaning and relate it to a message for my life!!
  Here is my very early morning take.  It's about me - the issue I often write about - self acceptance and belonging.  It's not just about me but probably resonates with most of you too - truth???  There's an old issue that keeps surfacing - wonder howmany of us have the same experience - over and over again until we 'get it right?"  This is who I am - or who I think I am.  This is how the world sees me - or how I think the world sees me.  Then there is yet another reality.  There is another way to see myself and to understand how the world truly sees me.  The amazing thing is that the other way is much the more positive wayand in my subconscious that give messages of 'not so good' yet I hear loud and clear, "When can we get together?"  "I need my Martie time"  "You know so many people"  "You have so much to share"  "Your work is so creative and beautiful"  "You are talented"  I continue to look over my shoulder and wonder who these people are talking about?  I need to come to the realization that she is NOT over my shoulder but within.   Am I the cute frilly white flower or am I the marigold.  Do I need to compare? Or do I need to choose which one I am cause I am NOT one or the another but both are a part of me!!  Does it really make a difference?  NOT AT ALL...the challenge is to know that within lies the pot of gold - not over the next hill or in make self look "better'in relation to others. Within is the pot of gold and the rainbow - the gentle spirit that is full of zest and life and love.

  Now consider the hydrangea - we could think it strange that there are both purple and pink flowers on the plant and no blue!  For a few years, this plant gave us nothing but green leaves.  Bill was about ready to take it out and I begged for another year.  Now, she produces and is prolific and gorgeous.  Another lesson huh?  Mom always called me a late bloomer - is the hydrangea too a representation of something within me?  Maybe so.  So I am multifaceted and brightly colored and gorgeous like the hydrangea.  These are all BE STILL moments and on reflection, there are sooooooooooo many lessons that come from the flowers and other plants in our garden.  How to really recognize,learn and pay attention to that?!?  Simple, just stop and PAY ATTENTION!!   (NOTE: for those of you who read the original - these words were just blank white lines...now they are real)
   Now it is time to go and settle in and read The Element by Ken Robinson - friend Bob just sent me "IT" and a laundry list of possibilities as I discover my Element and begin to manifest it.  Hey - think about it - aren't I already engaged in the process with this blog and facebook page.  Fancy that!!

Don't Take It Personally

Here's a welcoming rocking chair...pull it up and set a spell and let's chat.  I am wearing my DARE to AFFIRM shirt - all about the Dance of Relationships.  That they are - a dance.  Finding our inner rhythm and then going out into the world with is - a constant challenge.  At times, the two people will hear the same music and get in step.  At other times, there can be a lot of stepping on toes!!

      Last night I stepped while out in a group setting, I sat back and watched some of the personal interchanges - and in my head, took some of them personally.  When I saw a 'friend' talking to one person - and yet another - about setting up 'playdates' , I thought "What about ME?"  She and I used to do that...and then something changed.  WHAT?!?!  WHY?!?!?   I often go into the "what did I do" mode and it is NOT reality based.  On the way home, I chatted with two other friends about this and they clearly said, "Don't take it personally!"  This immediately brought to mind Don Miguel Ruiz and The Four Agreements:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Words

2. Don't Take Anything Personally

3. Don't Make Assumptions

4. Always Do Your Best

    Funny - when I first read the book and shared the information with people, I often couldn't remember what #2 was!!  Imagine that?!?  Here is what Don Miguel says....

   "Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their owndream. When you are immune to the opions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering".

    So when someone says that she can't be my friend because she can't deal with my energy - is that my problem...or hers?

   When someone else says that she has 'evolved' and I have not so she can't be my friend - and she shares that info in a 'nastygram', is that my problem...or hers?

   Lesson learned:  It is only my problem IF I allow it to be - and IF I take it personally.

   It's all about self acceptance - wanting to belong - and needing to be loved and appreciated.  Find the love and acceptance within - and recognize all of the places where it comes from without!!

Bounceability...Resilience...Trust

We all have a wish to belong.  We all have a need to 'fit in' and feel at home within ourselves and as part of a larger community.  For much of my life, I have felt on the periphery - but not now.  Meet my group of caring compassionate women. We are all members of The Transition Network, Philadelphia chapter.   We all came together at the begnning of 2013 to engage in a program/curriculum called Bounceability: Resilience and Aging.  From the first night we were open, caring, trusting and good listeners.  We all had need to talk at times and the others listened and cared.  Last night we finished the pilot program and made the decision that what we have together is too strong to just say, "So long!"  We are planning on creating our own Bounceability 2.0 - WOO HOO.   Who are we?  All women over 50 in some sort of transition in our lives - each of us with our own issues - aging parents, health, death and dying, retirement, job shifts, family issues.  We were a group focused on specific topics for each session - those most importantly related to resilience.  Openmindedness, Curiosity, Creativity, Spirituality, Self Regulation...strengths determined by the VIA questionnaire. 

   The issue for me is the sense of belonging - being heard - and respected and a part of the whole.  It doesn't matter what job we have/had, what our education is, where we live.  What is important is our journey to self and the realization that, as one member said, inside we are all from the same source of light/energy!   

           It's all about being present, trusting the process and being open to the flow of life!