Meet some of the important women in my family - standing at the back - Gram - Kate - definitely a person who offered me unconditional love - someone I treasured in my life always - someone I could go to when I thought life wasn't "fair" - she's been gone from my life on earth since 1966 but never a minute away from my heart! She always pretended to be a strong woman - and in many ways she was - but when someone hurt her in some ways, she always said, "It don't bother me none" as the tears were streaming down her cheeks. Lately there have been strange happenings (to me at least) in relationships - and as I have been told it is not my problem but something the other person has to work through, I can say, "Sure it don't bother me none" but my issue is that I want everyone to like me - and me them - and when a person backs away - and really can't talk about it - well....
The other two women - front right is Gram's mother - Bubba we called her - Mary to others - didn't know her well but sure she too had an influence in thoughts and feelings in my heart. The other person - front left is my mother's mother - Nanny - my memories of her - wew visited often and I even lived with them for a summer in college - is a kind person who did not share feelings/affection. Two very different grandmothers each affecting my life - one affecting my father and his sense of caring - and one affecting my mother and her emotional withdrawal. So it is genes or is it environment? For years, I have straddled that fence and as I ponder it all - I am still there - it has to be a combination!! Wonder how I am perceived?? To some, I am too emotional - to others - they want to be with my energy - to others - I am too intense - so in the perception and eyes of the other - the challenge is NOT TO JUDGE SELF THROUGH THE EYES OF OTHERS. Accept and believe in our own wholeness and beauty!! That's life!!
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