Stop...See...Care and Let it Go!!

On an adventure to Iowa to visit friend, Beth, we took a journey further west to meet her grandson...there was only one at that point... and we detoured to visit one of the Bridges of Madison County.  Wouldn't it be fun to stand there and relive the story??

    The setting was indeed totally peaceful - lush greenery, the sounds of the running water and the amazing structure - strong and sturdy.

   As we were walking back to the car, we looked down and saw this moth struggling in the grass.  I picked it up and after I got in the car, I sat it on my leg to rest in the sun.  Was it living?  After a bit of sharing our quiet energy, I detected movement!!  We looked at one another and decided to give her another chance at life and freedom! We stopped the car, and Beth took her and gently placed her on the grass in a sunny spot.  We cared.  We had compassion for her and we hoped that we gave her that breath of life to go on!  We let her go!!

    As I write this, I am sitting here , early morning at my desk in front of the open window, feeling the cool breezes coming in to envelope me in their gentle caresses!  I am watching Little Light dancing in the magnificence of the garden, casting her shadows and making everything look special.

  Friend BOB is always talking about LETTING GO...and we let the moth go, Mother Nature guides us to let our thoughts go -and light...well you know how she can take our cares away and just dance with us!!  Another day filled with gratitude!!

Little Light Loves a Gathering!!

Have I formally introduced  you to Little Light?  She has become my friend - someone recently asked me if she is my imaginary friend!!!?!?!?!  What do you think?  Remember Robert Louis Stevenson in Children's Garden of Verses, who had his shadow that went in and out with him?  Well, Little Light is always with me and is the most unconditional and accepting playmate!!  She's around and creates awesome opportunities for Being Still and Seeing...like the other night at our gathering.  Donna had arranged the wine glasses carefully on the marble topped counter - graduated rows!  We were sitting and talking and I HAD to get out my camera because this just, well , made me JOYFUL because of her playfulness!  It's a theme that I am choosing to bring more into my life - spirit and joy and play!  As I have been saying lately - WOO HOO!!

Since it was our first time visiting Donna's Farmland Preserve/vineyard and awesome peaceful 128 acres, we got a tour - just a bit outside and more inside.  The house has been designed for letting Little Light in - it is built in the center of the property and oriented east west - so now the Fiddler on the Roof song is going through my head...Sunrise...sunset...each one following another, filled with happiness and tears.  I digress...and that's fun and playful too!!  We got the house tour - and as I went up !  When I got up to the top of the stairs, this is where she had settled for the moment.

Isn't Little Light the most awesome friend to have...playful...fun...unconditionally there (even without her friend the Sun at times)...giving and full of spirit!!

Bounceability...Resilience...Trust

We all have a wish to belong.  We all have a need to 'fit in' and feel at home within ourselves and as part of a larger community.  For much of my life, I have felt on the periphery - but not now.  Meet my group of caring compassionate women. We are all members of The Transition Network, Philadelphia chapter.   We all came together at the begnning of 2013 to engage in a program/curriculum called Bounceability: Resilience and Aging.  From the first night we were open, caring, trusting and good listeners.  We all had need to talk at times and the others listened and cared.  Last night we finished the pilot program and made the decision that what we have together is too strong to just say, "So long!"  We are planning on creating our own Bounceability 2.0 - WOO HOO.   Who are we?  All women over 50 in some sort of transition in our lives - each of us with our own issues - aging parents, health, death and dying, retirement, job shifts, family issues.  We were a group focused on specific topics for each session - those most importantly related to resilience.  Openmindedness, Curiosity, Creativity, Spirituality, Self Regulation...strengths determined by the VIA questionnaire. 

   The issue for me is the sense of belonging - being heard - and respected and a part of the whole.  It doesn't matter what job we have/had, what our education is, where we live.  What is important is our journey to self and the realization that, as one member said, inside we are all from the same source of light/energy!   

           It's all about being present, trusting the process and being open to the flow of life! 

Perfect...or Not...It's Done!!

Here's a lesson learned - another one - and they are - with gratitude - coming at me with warp speed.  I am not aging, but acquiring WISDOM!!

We have a habit in our house of washing the clothes and then hanging them out to dry - usually on the basement clothesline but sometimes outside. 

I have often been fussy that they are not 'scrunched' on the line.  The other day, I stopped and thought about that.  Aren't I lucky that I have a guy who shares the task with me without being asked or badgered?  YOU BET -

So what's the lesson - I can hang clothes precisely (or so I think), Bill can scrunch them somewhat and guess what??  They still dry at the same rate and they are still ready to wear!!  Amazing - and I am totally filled with yet more Joy and Gratitude that I can now let that be!!!  Hey, it's a challenge for me - and for lots of you my friend, but LETTING GO and letting it happen is so much easier on the stress level...life...and time!!

It Don't Bother Me None!!

Every child needs a person in her life who offers her unconditional love - and for me, that was Gram!!  She was there for me - and when my Dad 'misbehaved', I just had to tell his mother and she would take care of it.

I have been experiencing a lot of LESSONS LEARNED lately as I am being STILL enough to pay attention to what is happening.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I had to go to the cardiologist for a consult (high blood pressure issues).  I wanted Bill to come with me - he hears things differently and is my partner in our life.  Well, a crown came off of his tooth and he scheduled a dentist's appointment to take care of it (or so I thought he had scheduled it!)  So I said, "Sure I am ok to go by myself!"  - martyr that I am...not believing that in a hearbeat.  It wasn't 'til I was on the way, that I called and left him a message that I wished he were going with me.  Long story short - he changed his appointment and came with me to meet yet another Healing Angel on my team!!  Turns out this lesson was about several things:

1. Using enough words to be clear with one another - he hadn't scheduled the appt. when he asked me if it was ok, but that is what I heard.

2. Asking for what you want/need rather than saying "IT dont bother me none" like Gram always did so that she/I could make sure everyone else was OK and didn't get upset with me.  Really now!! 

                    Maybe this time I have learned??   Maybe...

Be ALL That You Can Be!!

 When "Little Barbara" was very small, she was bright and curious - speaking early and a lot - asking questions and curious.  She heard, "Why do you have to know everything?  Why do you ask so many questions?  Over the years, that expanded to "Why do you have to talk to everyone?"  After awhile, it made her feel that somehow what she was doing wasn't quite right.  She settled for 'creative' activities like jigsaw puzzles and paint by number.  That lasted for years!!  Creativity ----NOT!

Then she married this guy who challenged her to try things - what can you lose - if it doesn't turn out 'right', you can always throw it away!  The little girl who was often fearful to step outside of the box and try something on her own, began to be a student of creating but very slowly!!  It started with crewel work and counted cross stitch, a bit of writing and gardening. Of course, 'she' is me!!

 About 7 years ago, after I had been taking pictures for awhile and enjoyed playing with the camera...I saw a continuing ed course offered at the local community college - Creative Photography.  Why?  Why not??  Here I quickly joined a group of people who 'wanted to know how to use their cameras'.  Bob, the jovial instructor suggested that they get out their manuals and it would be most helpful!  Barbara - who has since become MARTIE - didn't need that because I had my husband to help with my questions.  WHAT MARTIE REALLY LEARNED...I had more of a gift to SEE and realized that my camera brought me a quiet stillness that was so right...what I also realized is that the Technical part of using the camera and understanding photography didn't matter to me - what was important was BEING STILL and SEEING the beauty in the world.  WOW!!  And when challenged to do a self portrait for the class...I slowly began to set myself free.

There's more to the story - lots more and a lot of Lessons Learned as I have been making transitions into 'retirement' - whatever that is!!  Some say that I need to take courses and workshops and channel my energy.  They might be right, but right now, it's more important to BE STILL and SEE - be aware of what is all around and pay attention of life's synchronicities.  Maybe if I were to try too hard to 'find my purpose', I would miss the gifts that flow into my 

life everyday.   Here's the new ME - my crazy quilt Guardian Angel - she has introduced herself to me as Filaree and is totally light and joyful!!  There are always quiet purposes - and as my friend Allison and I were talking today, everything we do is meaningful.  We just have to BELEIVE it!!

 

Butterflies are FREE...and so are WE!!

Every once in awhile, an angel comes into your life and you count every blessing for who she is and what she brings to your life!!  To me, that is Tee - Teshina Wilson.  We first met her when she was a resident in UMDNJ medical school here in South Jersey.  Never had I experienced a medical professional who was truly a partner in my caring and supported me as the Team Leader.  She totally believes in her patients and it is important to her to give to her community.  So you ask, why the butterflies??  For me, the way to give back and say thanks is to give the gift of my photographs.  I chose the butterfly at the top of this blog...Tee later wrote that she wanted to have butterflies all over the offices of Henrietta Johnson Medical Center in Wilmington, DE.  I am hoping to oblige.  I have the gift of SEEING and giving.  She has the gift of caring and healing.  WE are both filled with love and compassion.  For this we are all grateful!!

MAGIC is Everywhere!!

The words say everything...MAGIC IS EVERYWHERE!!  Ever since I have been using my camera to see clearly what is in my world, I am awed by the joy that comes into my heart.  I discovered ME...what brings peace to my heart...and the gift that I have to SEE what is in my world.  I have challenged friends to share what is magic to them.  For me today it is the undersides and backs of flowers - details and colors that often seen by just looking at it straight on.  Take the blue poppy that we recently saw at Longwood Gardens in Kennett Square, PA.  I looked from the front...I looked from the side and the I needed - just needed to see what was underneath.  What gifts...what colors...what details.  Do you do this?  Do you look at something and then look in different ways??  Challenge yourself always.  Look at something - then close your eyes, take a deep breath - and open them again to see with a clear mind and a open heart.  Then when you think you are done - well turn around and see what else is there behind you.  It might be the most special gift of the day!!  Enjoy.

The Light Within Shines Out!!

It's challenging to feel sad when there is dancing light all around us!!  In the morning especially, the sunlight wakes up and comes out to play  I sit here in my office looking out into the yard and realize that IF I never went anywhere, I would be blessed with the experience of beauty that Mother Nature offers us.  Little Light is out there dancing and casting her shadows on well, EVERYTHING!   The dogwood tree has been in our yard for the 30+ years we have lived here...in some ways like a bonsai dogwood - never growing large and stately but being steady and consistent!!  Looking up at her flowers set against the brillian blue sun - well - a picture is worth a thousand words right?    The leaves...a bit further afield - went to see our favorite lake but stopped as I got out of the car because Little Light was playing on the leaves and trees!  My point...Little Light is everywhere, dressed differently and sharing in wonderous ways throughout the day.  Sometimes she has to rest...but lately she has been totally present. 

 ARE YOU IN TUNE WITH THE PRECIOUS PRESENT??   Stop and breathe and give it a try!!  You will feel still and peaceful - a gift to yourself.

Light, Shadows and Reflections: BE STILL and SEE

Was off to a new adventure in Center City Philadelphia - to meet new women...to talk about working on a project.  All the way there, I thought about me and them...how it would all work out.  How would we work together?  Would we be effective in moving forward toward our goals? 
As I walked from the train, I began noticing people, light and shadows.  It reminded me of Robert Louis Stevenson's poem, My Shadow - and I thought about the contrasts that I was feeling - my shadow self was always with me, sometimes filled with doubt and uncertainty, yet my light was also shining out from within.  The duality of being ME!!

This morning, I sat in my rocking chair, thinking about all of the experiences of the past few days - a new BE STILL and SEE photography group - an awesome gathering of kindred spirits - and I impacted the networking.

Then I thought about the meeting with, let's call them the IMPACT group - the working title for our book.  I thought about ME and how I fit into it all - I had an impact...I shined my light - I brought forth my reflections of inner self - and it was all good.  The shadows in this picture - my plant showing its other side on my office chair.  The playfulness of the light...and the shadows it cast.  The duality of life.  Good morning world - and thanks for the shadows, the reflections and the messages from within.  Life is Good!!

MUSIC to our ears...perfect day for a picnic

 The day was gorgeous - bright sun and blue skies - took off to explore and create new memories.  Scotland Run in Clayton, NJ  was our destination.  We had never been there in all of our years living in South Jersey...now we have.  One of the sights that caught my eye as I was walking about was the couple sitting on the blanket and then I heard the music.  How perfect - a picnic and he was serenading her.  Later I found out that Ted and Lauren had been friends in high school - lost touch - and rediscovered one another about a year ago...how sweet!!

A perfect day for a picnic!!

Ever the curious souls, we asked what kind/brand of guitar Ted was playing - turns out it was a Taylor BUT he has 13 guitars in all!!  WOW - Bill has some catching up to do!!  Right away the conversation went to techniques, chords and musician 'stuff'.

Ted had taught himself when he was very young - reminds us of our son, Jon and how he began the banjo at 10 -  He played for years and put it all away for a long time.  A few years ago, he picked it all up and just enjoys playing along with his CDs.  Rather reminded me of someone in my very own house and how he chooses to play most of the time!!

Photoschmoozer and friend...out and about...looking around and seeing - discovering new places and new people and ever hearing new stories.  Wonder what today will bring??  Stay  tuned!!

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BE STILL and SEE Photography: Clear Eye, Open Heart and Mindfulness

It's with an open heart and a clear mind that I write this morning.  I often attempt to make life too complicated and totally forget to stop and see who I am and what I have.  I read about the 'top ten gardens in the country' and immediately felt an urgent need to get to #1 in Maine.  Then I stopped and looked at the rest of the list and realized that within an hour of home, I had 2 of those very 10 in my very own backyard - and others equally as beautiful that we have yet to see.  So maybe there are NOT 11,000 tulips in bloom but there are a myraid of simple visions that all bring joy to my heart. 

This one is simple...I stopped to look up rather than down at the ground at the vibrant flowers - here was the gift I received - a simple sight to be sure but alive with possibilities. 

A friend sent me this DeWitt Jones link about Vision and I have replayed it numerous times.  I especially love the story about the 5 year old who is 'taking pictures' with DeWitt!!  See for yourself...enjoy...learn...grow...and open your heart to ALL of the possibilities the world has to offer!!  It's NOT all about stuff!!  Do we really need all of that 'stuff' - more cameras and special lenses and tripods and filters??  Maybe not...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwFYsztlISM

Stop to BE STILL ...and SEE and then turn around and SEE more

I've been looking for crocus in our yard...nothing showing...until today!  I was on the way to the water (and wish I had a camera there today!!) when I looked to the right and the front yard rather than the garden.  Oh my - my wish had been granted - two tiny perfect crocus.  Put the car in park...go and sit and look at them and wait.  OK...the message was to take them together just as they were...later into the center as well!  I was filled with gratitude.

Then I turned around , preparing to stand and get back in the car but WAIT...look what I saw?!?  There was a drip from the tailpipe - and the pattern of the water on the driveway was explosive!!  I sat and looked at it - thankful for the vision and then looked through the camera to see what came forward.  Being contemplative...is about not labeling...just seeing...a challenging lesson to be learned - until then this reminded me of the iron filings in a Etch a Sketch!!  Just happy I turned around and just noticed...
We have started a group - Facebook page - BE STILL...and SEE Photography - inviting like minded spirits to join us and explore - more synchronicities - and what will evolve?  Hmmmmmmm

My Head's In the Clouds!!

It was 9:15 in the morning and I was sitting and waiting for my friend Martha so we could go to the Philadelphia Art Museum to see the Whitman Samplers.  You know them because most likely you have eaten from the yellow boxes with the sampler design on them.  I know I grew up with them - often received them as a gift from my mother-in-law for Christmas!  Anyhow - I was just gazing and my hand reached over to the seat next to me for the little red Fuji I am now carrying (fits in my pocket).  I just had to take some pictures of the clouds.  Once again they were totally awesome.  There was such diversity - seemed a turbulent sky but from another perspective, the sun was shining brightly!!  I posted this on Facebook and got some great comments about my ability as a photographer.  Ever humble and realistic, I said that "everyone can do this" but a new friend in Nebraska said, "No, not everyone can see this...nor do they take the time to stop and look!"  I totally appreciated Lisa's comments...and the gift of the clouds on that particular morning.  What they looked like...an impending storm, was not the truth nor was the day at all like that.  Martha and I are getting to know one another and this day we discovered so many similarities in our upbringing, our personalities and likes/dislikes.  Too bad that she is moving to Williamsburg,VA - but hey - a place to visit!!  Adventures await!!   And here is one of the Samplers... done in Scotland in the 1800s - well preserved.